Tjaye’s Bloopers

One night Tjaye and her band were rehearsing in the dressing room of the Leisure Centre Cambridge. They were practising the harmonies to the song Dixie Darling when a little guy walked in and asked if he could join in. Before Tjaye could say anything her guitarist said “sure why not?” When they had finished singing he ask if he would be able to join in the harmonies for that number whilst they were performing on stage that night. The lead guitarist again quickly answered, “yes ofcourse.” With that the small guy left the dressing room and Tjaye turned to the guitarist saying “you can’t just let anybody up on stage while we are supporting Lonnie Donnegan”. To which he replied in shocked amazement “ you can’t be serious, don’t you know who that was? That was Lonnie Donnegan”.

On another occasion Tjaye was appearing at the Blue Anchor Holiday Park Theatre as a supporting act to Billy Ocean. It was early in the evening and outside the dressing room was a piano laid up with food and a crate of champagne. A guy entered the dressing room turned to Tjaye and suggested that they open a bottle of the champagne. She said they couldn’t do that as it was obviously meant for the star of the show, Billy Ocean. He said that Billy Ocean wouldn’t notice or care as it was probably just a rider in his contract and anyway how was he going to find out who had taken it. With that he opened a bottle, filled two glasses and then said they had better finish it off as if they didn’t he might well notice a half drunk bottle. So she quickly drank it fearing that Billy Ocean might walk in and catch them out. After they had finished the bottle, and feeling extremely guilty, Tjaye did her spot with her band and then went and sat out front to see Billy Ocean for the first time. Imagine her surprise and reaction when she realised that the guy who had plied her with “stolen” champagne was non other than Billy Ocean himself.

Tjaye was at Peter Gabriel’s Box studio one sunny afternoon where Peter was having a very big extension done so there was a lot of building work going on. The studio is a converted mill with a moat running round the perimeter. During a break in recording she went outside to look for the sound engineer’s pet rabbit that had gone missing. After some time he took a cup of tea out into the sunshine for Tjaye just in time to see her clambering up the side of the moat followed by two men. The engineer was Roger Bolton and he asked Tjaye if she had found his rabbit. She said there was no sign of it but that she had asked these two kind guys off the building site to help her look for it. Roger asked her, “which two guys off the building site?” She pointed to the one who’s trouser leg was soaked through having slipped into the moat as he was helping her. With a look of horror on his face Roger said, “darling, that’s Van Morrison”. Then turned to Van with a look of total disbelief as Tjaye asked, “Who’s Van Morrison?”

After a day spent acting on the Jimmy Cricket TV show, “And There’s More” Tjaye called the garage that was repairing her car only to discover that her car wasn’t ready and they didn’t have a courtesy car to lend her. In desperation she phoned a friend who lent her a fluorescent yellow 2 CV nicknamed the “The Flying Banana”. Managing to pack all her P.A. equipment and guitar into the car, she set off for Cornwall where she was engaged to perform that evening. She was travelling along the M69 motorway, approaching the Coventry turn off when she noticed thick black smoke pouring out from beneath the car’s bonnet. Horrified she quickly pulled over onto the hard shoulder and hurriedly began unpacking her speakers and guitar from the rear of the car. She’d almost removed all the equipment when the car began to chug off down the hard shoulder gradually turning towards the main traffic on the motorway. Tjaye, now staring at the ignition keys that were still in her hand, raced after the car, jumped into the driving seat and steered it back onto the hard shoulder at the same time realising that she couldn’t take her foot off the brake pedal which also meant that she couldn’t leave the car as the wires had fused together sparking the ignition. All she could do was sit there terrified as the smoke started to fill up the car. Fortunately a lorry driver had noticed the smoke pouring out of the bonnet and was racing towards her with a fire extinguisher. He put her and her equipment into his cab and dropped her off at the nearest motorway services, where she phoned the venue to explain why she couldn’t make it (she got the impression that they didn’t believe her) then phoned her friend to come and collect her and the car. As she sat in the foyer waiting for help to arrive surrounded by all her equipment and clutching her guitar, who should walk in but the star of the show, Jimmy Cricket. His family were waiting in his vehicle in the car park and to say she was embarrassed was an understatement, but as she related her narrow escape they both couldn’t help but see the funny side. Jimmy Cricket being the genuinely kind person that he is offered to help, but as help was already on the way Tjaye thanked him but declined. However she’s never forgotten the kindness of the lorry driver or Jimmy Cricket, and she has never driven a 2 CV since that day, but she will certainly always remember “The Flying Banana.”